How funny! My sister and I were just talking about this. As a flight attendant in a former life, she asked me why I had to tell my passengers this. She lightheartedly mocked the advice and said, “Yeah, right. Like a parent is not going to put the mask on his/her child first.” As I told my sister, you’d better put the mask on yourself first. You’re going to be no good to your child when you’re passed out from lack of oxygen! Service professionals, listen to your flight attendant (I mean, Betsy)!

Kristen Schuerlein of Affirmagy once advised me to “Be a bulldog for your time and protect it as if your life depends on it … because it does.” What else do we have, if not our time and our lives, especially if we are professional service providers?

I have learned to offer “virtual coffee or tea” That saves the commute time and also keeps me close to the clock to make sure that 15 minute chats stay true to that timeframe. And, of course, I do offer the Publici-Tea events that give others access to my consulting in a warm and cozy group setting. That seems to have really struck a nerve and met a need in the marketplace. Hurray for that for all!

I have taken a lesson from Nancy Juetten which has really helped me interract with the great women of eWomen (some of who are very new in business, or have not created enough revenues to invest in my services.

Nancy has a fantastic packet of information for anyone who does not want to pay $200 per hour to meet with her. She has tips booklets, and also a fantastic group “tea” where one could really leverage their investment for many new ideas. This way she can still be of help and service to others at any point.

Due to my schedule I don’t have much time for coffee or tea as it is, and I love the idea of a phone conversation. This can really maximize time and sort out what it is that the other person is most interested in.

As for giving away knowledge - I do it in these ways - being a speaker, choosing organizations I can be of service for, and occasionally leading workshops that have a low dollar investment. It makes me feel good, and I never get pushed into it - only do it as it fits into my goals and schedule.

Eventually new business owners learn that it takes an investment to get good advice and ideas. Sometimes it is a money investment, other times a time investment - or both.

Great topic!

Lori Richardson
Score More Sales - Sales Effectiveness Organization

I believe the intentional way to go about asking for help is to just ask for it. Once you put it on the table, what you need help with, the response you get can come in the form that is a win/win. The person being asked for help can give a rate, or a referral, but can give from the place that feels like they are helping, but not giving away their services for free. The person asking for the help can do it from a place of integrity and clarity and really might get better help than they expected. That way you have the opportunity to continue building a good relationship instead of one laced with bad feelings or being taken advantage of.

Thanks again for posting this! Always good to have a reminder of how to communicate better (for ourselves, our businesses and for our customers!).
-Sylvia

Great advice! This is something that I get asked about a lot. It seems that some people so often have ulterior motives when a coffee date is requested that a lot of people are now wary of participating in coffee dates.

There truly is safety in numbers for most people will not behave badly in front of others and it is easier to set the tone and expectations for everyone when there are more than 2 people involved. That’s a great suggestion and I wish more people would consider doing that for you actually get and give more information (for the time you allot to the activity) when there are more people present … and 4 is a great number to strive for. When you have more than 4, you’ll find the conversation is difficult to follow because people break into side bar conversations.

I love that you give permission to service people to “own” the knowledge that they have accrued and charge for it appropriately. My favorite pet peave are the folks who say something like, “I’d like to pick your brain, how about I buy you a cup or coffee or take you to lunch….” As if that is the correct way to get the information that they are looking for. Picking my brain is not an activity that I readily allow other folks to do. That’s the same as Picking my Pocket … and we all know what that means … it means taking something that is not yours. Cold hard fact is that it is stealing and the takers try to dress it up by calling it picking your brain.

Anyway, great post and thank you for shining a light on how to handle the situation!

Seriously, I think we were a model for what a coffee date should be & hope you think so, too.